My partner is working all the time. He works extremely long hours in his small company. The margins for the work he produces are incredibly small. In reality sometimes the costs for what he produces exceeds what he earns and he is effectively subsidising the sub-contracting company. It creates a dreary kind of slavery and debt. Yet at the same time his job is exciting. Pay to play.
We work from home so we feel relatively free yet we are working all the time, evenings and weekend. We spend more than we earn so we are in debt. There is little free time for me to devote to my art. Then again people in far worse conditions have produced art.
I sense a lot of anger out there. The psychiatrists say that I have paranoia but I think it is an understandable reaction to a world out of control. My 91 year old grandmother talks about ‘when you get older’ but I’m not sure I will still be alive even in ten years time.
It’s remarkable to watch technology develop in leaps and bounds but we are losing so much. Bendable phones and Televisions you can roll up.
It feels a bit like the world is dying. I find it hard to have a sense of humour about it because it seems to be marked by callousness and brutality. I sense a rising tide of anger. Anger that could lead to dictatorship.
A writer I know talks about the mad managerialism in British business. He argues that a free society is based on liberty and trust not audit and surveillance.
On the optimistic side my good friend thinks to some extent we can forge our own worlds.
Society seems to be decaying.